I think one of the hardest things in life has to be living out Corrie ten Boom's phrase, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." Christ calls us, as his followers, to 'come and die', to 'take up our cross and follow him'. He asks us to keep our eyes fixed on him, have faith in him, and step out on the water. Like Peter, though, it is so easy to lose sight and get caught up in the waves around us.
Unemployment. Pregnant. Childbirth. Newborn care. Caring for our Family. Food to eat. Warm clothes and heat in the home for the winter. A roof over our heads. Repairs on the house. Repairs on the car. Raising support for the ministry He has called us to.
These are a few of the "unknowns" that have plagued my thoughts over the last 6 months. Just last week the Lord convicted me in my heart of all my worry, my need for control. I mentally stepped out of my situation and looked on with new eyes to see what God was doing. Not WILL DO, but has done and is doing. He IS and HAS met all of our needs. When we needed money, somehow money appeared. When we needed food, He provided food just when we needed it. When Ellie and I needed winter coats, He provided. When our furnace went out, He provided. In the darkness of postpartum depression, He provided. Through it all, He provided.
The Lord also reminded me that I've been through this before, though I wasn't married with a family at that time. When He first called me to France (read my post on that here), I was living in Nashville and I lost my job because I was pursuing His call. I had to sell nearly everything I owned. I couldn't find another job in the economic downturn in 2008, and had to move half way across the country to live with my parents. But in all that time for unemployment, of uncertainty, He was there. He provided for me. Somehow I always had the money to pay all of my bills, the rent. It wasn't easy. On the contrary, it was quite stressful. But I was following Him to the place He had called me. I was following Him to France.
Now I find our family again in a similar situation. Unemployed and raising support for France, just like I was back in '08 - and God is still providing. He has an amazing track record. He is SO faithful. I am learning to "trust an unknown future to a known God." I am learning to allow Him to transform my thoughts from worry to worship. In my heart I have begun singing "Oh Lord You're Beautiful (Your face is all I seek)" when I start getting bogged down with worrisome thoughts. I may not know the future, but I know this God. I know from His Word. I know from time spent with him. I know from experience. I can trust Him.